Hercules and the Greek Tragedy
by BAMF Guy
Summary: TV timeline: Based very loosely on the Hercules/Admetus myth. After a series of misadventures and strange coincidences Cassandra and an injured Hercules find themselves entangled in a plot to save a young king's life by cheating death. HxC friendship
1. The Not a Date

Hercules and the Geek Tragedy

Chapter 1: The Not-a-Date

The last few weeks had been some of the most grueling, painful and most down right terror induced stomach clenching moments of Hercules' young life but at long last they were finally over.  
He had survived finals and managed to pass his classes with a Beta average {well not counting Shop class}.

His first year of high school had ended with only minor bruises, the occasional social catastrophe and minimal property damage to the school and city state. But now Skirophorion was finally here and with the last month of the Athenian calendar at an end the young demigod and his friends said farewell to the walls of Prometheus Academy until fall. Now Herc and his pals could finally relax and enjoy two months of well deserved rest and relaxation {or at least as much relaxation as one could expect when you were the mortal son of Zeus, with the strength to move mountains and the grace of a piece of driftwood.}

The festival of Skira was tomorrow, and being from a small rural town Hercules was looking forward to celebrating the end of the year big city Athens style with his two best friends. Especially since Icarus was leaving for Ithaca the following week to help his mother at her pottery factory like he did every summer. Absently he followed behind Cassandra as they walked through the gates of the Pro Ac for the last time this summer. As soon as they were off school grounds the teenagers found themselves surrounded with the commotion of festival preparation. All around them people were setting up decorations and the air was alive with the happy chatter of both young and old. Icarus was talking a mile a minute as usual but Hercules was only half listening. Stealing a glance at the two glaring different teenagers that walked beside him the boy couldn't help but smile softly to himself. The three of them probably made up the oddest trio of misfits the ancient world had ever seen but Herc couldn't have asked for a better pair of friends. Though he wasn't very good at putting the feelings into words this last year in Athens had been the happiest of his life. In Arcadia his life had always been poor and simple but Hercules had never been without love or happiness. Despite that though he had always longed for companionship in friends his own age. Kids like him that he could relate to, people who wouldn't think of him only as a freak. Now he had the two best friends a guy could ever hope for.

"Oh yeah!" Icarus exclaimed wiggling his hips to a song only he could hear as the three of them walked down the crowded streets towards the shopping district. "Like the gentle breeze between my legs during laundry day, we are free baby!"

Forcing the vomit down Cassandra's pale skin quickly turned off green. "That's a mental image I could have gone without." Turning to Hercules she noticed his heavy lidded blue eyes were distant and detached. He might have been standing right next to her but right now Herc was a million miles away. Moving forward she waved a slender hand in front of his face. "You've been awfully quiet." She said with a rare smile lightly touching his arm. "Everything okay? Disappointed about your Shop final?"

"Oh come on Herc, my Dadelus is tough but fair." Icarus chimed in good naturedly. "He even says they'll have the roof fixed before school starts back up."

"Huh? Oh no, I... was just thinking." Hercules retorted flashing them a bashful smile as he stumbled back into reality. Remembering his original reason for asking them out with him today he piped up, "But hey! Thanks for coming with me to the Agora guys." The hero in training stuttered, "If Phil finds out I ripped another chiton, I'll be running laps until I graduate."

"You ripped _another _one?" Icarus asked incredulously as he helped his friend rummage through the sale selection of the Agora's mens department. "You think they'd make linen out to be a little more monster proof."

"Yeah, tell me about it." Hercules said sheepishly as he adjusted his shoulder strap for the third time. It wasn't just the monsters though. He had been growing at almost an obscene rate these days and just about everything he owned these days felt about four sizes too small and was tight everywhere it counted. But the simple combination of Phil's rigorous work outs and teenage hormones had finally caught up with the young hero. From the time he had enrolled in Prometheus Academy to now the boy had put on probably thirty pounds of muscle, three inches of height and he was far from finishing his growth spurt. The awkward, scrawny farm boy from Arcadia was slowly but surely starting to look more heroic with each passing month. Now if only he could stop tripping over his own feet he'd be set. "Hey you guys wanna drop by Gyro World on the way out?" Herc asked as he checked the price on a chiton he liked.

"Are you kidding?" Cassandra gawked sizing the tall boy up. Along with tearing through his entire wardrobe and sandal collection poor Herc's appetite practically rivaled Ladon's these days. "We just had lunch a few hours ago."

"Yeah." Hercules murmured dejectedly as he counted his petty cash, "I'm a few drachmas short anyways. Forget I said anything."

"So why don't you hit your parents up for some cash?" Cassandra asked yanking out a few pieces of clothing out herself and pressing them up against Herc for visual confirmation. His wonder boy white chiton look was cute but it was a poor color choice when you fought the forces of evil on a daily basis.

"I can't do that!" The young hero exclaimed as Cassandra fawned over him like he was a paper doll, "My folks have enough to worry about with the harvest coming up and-"

Interrupting him she sniggered, "I meant your _Olympian_ ones. At the rate you're going Phil might have to quit his day job just to feed you and you can't exactly save the world from monsters and natural disasters in your underwear." Rolling her eyes the teen seer added, "Besides your dad is lord of the cosmos. I think he can manage to pony up a few drachmas for clothes."

"I guess." Hercules replied almost remorsefully, "But I don't really like to ask them for things unless it's important. Stuff like this seems a little... well stingy don't you think?"

Taking a deep breath and then exhaling it slowly Cassandra forced down a groan as she rubbed her temples. It was the ultimate joke that someone as wholesomely nice and down to earth as Hercules ended up being the son of the two most powerful gods in heaven.

Anyone else would have milked that station and name for everything it was worth, but Herc couldn't even find it in himself to ask them for pocket change. That was probably what made the demigod so annoyingly likable though.

It was at this time that she would normally say something barbed and dripping with her usual sarcasm like, _"Just consider it back pay for all the years they weren't in picture. I mean they only abandoned you on earth for sixteen years. Making them spring for a summer wardrobe is going easy on them."_ But even though she was thinking it there was something in that big innocent face of his that made it impossible to spit out. Somewhere down the road Cassandra had gone soft... at least when it involved him.

"Wow, way to take all the fun out of being petty and spoiled for the rest of us teenagers." She jilted instead lightly smacking the young hero in the ribs with her bony elbow.

Anything Hercules had wanted to say to her in response to that was cut short as Icarus suddenly let out a jagged scream his voice going up two octaves as he stared at his sun dial in terror. "OH MAN!" The tan, spindly youth hollered, "Sweet Apollo on a flaming chariot is that the time? I need to get home and finish packing before Dadelus kills me! I have to leave first thing in the morning."

"In the morning?" Cassandra blinked, "I thought you weren't leaving for Ithaca until next weekend."

"You mean you're not coming to the festival?" Hercules exclaimed in surprise. Normally Icarus shared his every thought, every body function with anything that had ears. The young hero was floored by this little bit of news.

"Oh no I'm sorry, Boo-boo." Icarus drawled as they left the area, "I thought I told you guys! You've read the Greekly World News right? Those crazy Ionians are at it again and the trade routes are nuts! So I'm leaving early to beat traffic."

"Gee whiz." Hercules replied scratching his head, "You think after that incident with those 300 Spartans that they'd lay off a bit." Getting back to the subject on hand the demigod looked down at his smaller friend. "But it's too bad, Icarus. Can we at least see you off tomorrow?"

"Of course buddy!" The wild haired boy exclaimed. "And don't you worry that heroic head of yours. I'll be back before you know it. Then we'll be knee deep in another year's worth of misadventures and more adolescent growing pains than you can shake a stick at, baby!"

"Yeah." Hercules grinned finding his best friend's attitude contagious. "I'm missing you already." He said truthfully.

Watching as the permanently charcoaled silhouette of his small friend vanished into the crowd Hercules let out a sigh. Just like that Icarus was already out of sight and tomorrow he'd be halfway across the Aegean Sea. Biting back the seeping twinge of loneliness he was a lot more disappointed than he wanted to admit at the fact his partner in crime would be out of the city-state for two months. But at least Cassandra would still be here this summer. Glancing at her he forced a smile and the two of them silently agreed to leave the clothing adventure for another day. Turning tail they stopped to admire the setting sun before Hercules offered to walk his friend home since Phil had mercifully canceled hero training due to the last day of finals.

"So about tomorrow. You have anything in that closet of yours that won't get you arrested for indecent exposure?" Cassandra joked good naturedly.

"Actually I was just thinking of wearing this." Hercules said fingering his shoulder clasp. "No good?" He asked innocently.

Shrugging the petite girl at his side offered a snide remark, "Only for the fool who wants to make a good impression. These festivals carry a heavy dress code. Just another overrated social ritual to induce people into spending loads of money on glittery frocks they'll only wear once. I only come to these things for the off chance of seeing a assassination." Glancing up at him she ventured, "So what was Skira like in your hometown?"

"Nothing like any of this." Hercules sighed running a hand through his reddish-blond curls. Sometimes he couldn't help but feel so backwards in a big city like this. "I mean since Athens is Athena's patron city-state we Arcadians never really have to jump through the hoops you guys do. Skira back home was really just a bunch of villagers coming together with offerings and maybe a bonfire." Brightening he added, "Oh and sometimes they'd hold a play in the town square and-" It was obvious he was far from impressing her. In fact she looked cold and distant as if he had suddenly said something that had made her upset with him. Quickly shutting up he groaned, "Never mind. It's silly."

"No, no it's not that." The auburn haired girl beside him quickly retorted realizing she was giving him the wrong idea. "Sweet Zeus, I just realized what a great social crutch the lump was. Now we'll probably have to... well you _know._"

Blinking Herc was clueless as usual. "Know what?" He asked.

Swallowing hesitantly she tried to put it into perspective for him. "So you know how Skira's the tail of end of the huge series of festivals that Athens celebrates during the last month of the year right?"

"Uh huh." Hercules agreed eagerly.

"And you also know how it's the one time where women are allowed to take control of the city-state. And they turn it into a really girly, really outlandish party? The type that involves a giant dance that incorporates most of Athens?"

"Uh huh." The boy repeated. There were no signs of the gears starting to turn in his head whatsoever.

"And since our trio had just reduced to a duo, there's going to be no chance of escaping the social expectations of two people going to the said festival together." Cassandra ventured checking his face for any sign of him reaching the same conclusion she had come to. "Y-you know, _together_ Herc. As in the two of us. Like a _couple_."

That did it.

"_Oh!_" Hercules gasped his eyes widening at the realization. "Oh _man_!" He exclaimed almost jumping three feet off the ground when it all sunk in, "So, so what are we going to do?" He asked in exasperation. In fact he almost panicked.

Seeing the mortal son of Zeus freak out like a little kid Cassandra fought back a laugh.

Her best friend was pretty charming in his own moronic way.

So in a strange turn of events that surprised herself even Cassandra decided to be a rebel and just go with the fates for once. Forcing him an awkward smile the pale skinned prophet threw her shoulders back, "Not much to _do_ unless you want to try to make another girl out of clay again. Guess you're just stuck being my date."

"Well sure," Scratching his head he stuttered. "But it's just for the festival right? I mean it won't be like a _real_ date." Hercules asked meekly before he laughed, "I mean can you even _imagine_ it? You and me on a date."

"Now what's that supposed to mean? " Cassandra interrupted more than a little annoyed at his reaction.

"What? Nothing." Hercules stammered, "It's just-" Her tone made it obvious she didn't find any of it as funny as he did. Looking about as spooked as a deer caught in a chariot's lantern light he explained, "It's just that I could never do that to Icarus. Go on a date with you, that is, I mean what kind of friend would I be if-"

"I fail to see the big deal here. You said it yourself it's just for the festival." The girl spat as her patience wore more thin with each badly pieced together sentence he managed to stumble over. "And not that it has anything to do with anything but contrary to popular belief me and Ignacius are not _now_ and never _will be_ an item."

"Look I _know_ that." Hercules replied more than a little cowed as he backed away a few inches from her crushing stare. Cassandra was small and petite but she was glaring at him with malice a gorgon would be proud of. He didn't know _how_ he had made her mad but it obvious enough in her voice and body language that he was on thin ice.

Her painted mouth twisting into a tight frown she glared at the boy who was mentally trying and failing to find some way to rub about the horrible insult he had unintentionally given her.

It was true that she was the only girl Herc knew that he didn't put his sandal in his mouth for every time he saw her. She was glad he confided in her and trusted her opinion above all others. But for some reason his reaction really got her goat. Okay sure, she most certainly wasn't in cheery rosy skinned bimbo category of their school but Cassandra at least hoped that her best friend could see her as a member of the female gender.

Or at the very least that she was a real person and _not_ just a cancerous growth that was solely attached to Icarus.

"But you see, it's just, well it's just that... like it or not Cassandra, Icarus _does_ feel that way about you." The hero in training offered lamely. "And I'd never want to do anything to ever hurt him. Or you for that matter. So you see now why I think this might be a bad idea?"

His timid reply was not very convincing but the sad look in his eyes was too much for her.

It disgusted Cassandra to realize that it was getting epically hard to stay mad at Hercules even in the best circumstances. Seeing him squirm under her gaze like a kicked puppy was too much even for her cynical heart to take. So forcing out a heavy sigh that caused her bangs to blow out of her face in exasperation; she gave up on the argument.

And thank the Gods too, that they had conveniently come to her house before either one of them had the chance to make the situation any worse than it already was. But now was the hard part, finding a way past this awkward silence.

The both stood at her doorway for more than a few seconds; Cassandra burning a hole in her doorknob while Hercules twiddled his fingers as he mentally kicked himself and waited desperately for some word or sign that she didn't hate him now.

She only let him suffer for a few minutes before the teen prophet decided to be the slightly bigger person and take advantage of his naivety to brush it all off. Crossing her arms she climbed the steps to her porch until she was eye level with the wannabe hero. Leaning over so they were forced to lock eye contact she gave him her most intimidating scowl before she simply smirked, "Ha. I really had you worried for a second."

And like clockwork the hero instantly brightened.

"Oh. _Oh! _So y-you were just kidding?" Hercules asked softly.

"Of course." Cassandra said her lips curling into a smile as she playfully whacked his forehead with one of her fingers. "So relax, you can start _breathing_ again."

A huge grin spread on Hercules face as he had to laugh at himself, "Oh man. Cassandra you _really_ had me going there."

Relief washing over him the boy was more than glad that things had returned to normal. And this time he didn't even have to beat a monster or go on some life altering ordeal of the week to get there.

Normalcy returning Hercules casually shoved his hands in his pockets he watched her fumble for her house key before he asked, "So, um, what time should I come over to get you tomorrow?"

"Dunno. I foresee my social calendar being clean all day." The pale girl replied as she unlocked the large wooden door. "So how about I just meet you at the pier in the morning so we can see the stooge off? It's the first day of summer vacation. We can spend the rest of the afternoon finding new ways to do nothing."

"Okay, great. I'll see you tomorrow then!" Hercules replied his voice full of enthusiasm as she stepped inside her house and bade him goodnight. Turning around once he waved before he began to jog down the street in hopes of catching the last barge back to Phil's island for the night since he had left Pegasus at home.

Blissfully unaware of how completely dense he was.

Watching him leave Cassandra tried to ignore the slight pang in her heart as she cursed herself for even bringing any of it up. Honestly even now she didn't have a clue as to why it had bothered her in the first place.

Hercules had acted exactly how he should have. In fact she would have been disappointed in him if he hadn't made a big deal about Icarus.

They were best friends, the flying idiot and all. And since it was obvious no one else was crazy enough to stick by the three of them but the three of them, of course Hercules was going to protect that with everything he had.

So why did she still feel like she had a hole in her chest the size of Crete? Why had Hercules inability to even _think_ that she could be a girl gotten to her like this? And more importantly why did she care about what he thought in the first place?

Those were questions her gift of prophecy couldn't seem to offer any insight into.

Shutting the door and leaning against its wooden frame the slender girl sucked back a bitter rush of air.

Being a teenager could be a regular Greek tragedy sometimes.

(End Chapter 1)

* * *

Spoilerpedia Glossary for the Greek Geek Impaired:

Skirophorion: In terms of the Attic calendar that the ancient Greeks went by Skirophorion was last month of the calendar year. Modern time line around May/June.

Skira: End of the year festival that was dedicated to Poseidon and Athena and the founding myth of Athens. The whole month was dedicated more to women, and it was the one time of year where the girls actually got some civil rights. Barely. But for this story think of it as Grecian version of a Sadie Hawkins Dance. (You guys were warned I'd have bastardize Greek mythology a little.)

Ladon: Hundred Headed Serpent and offspring of Echnida the mother of all monsters. In the Disney series however he's more of a infant godzilla like creature that Mr. Parathesis' dubbed "a mountain of living gullet."

Ionian Revolt: One of the many battles in the Greco-Persian Wars. Even though "technically" the Hercules TV Show is based in the Age of Pericles and somewhere in between 495-421 BC those silly Persians and Greeks were still fighting each other even in Herc's time. Hey, I couldn't resist a chance to throw in a _300_ gag even if Hercaburger and Leonidas missed each other by a hundred years or so.


	2. The Devil Faced Angel

Hercules and the Geek Tragedy

_(Author's Rantings: I'm barely into the second chapter and already the minimal bastardization of Greek Mythology has become raping it with sandpaper. Oh boy, wow... when I originally went about this I was going to turn it into something completely different but then I realized Disney took a lot out of this myth for the movie. They just applied it to Herc and Meg instead of Admetus. But for you guys who don't remember the story here's the Cliff Note version: Super nice guy Admetus finds a way to get the Fates to change the course of his death and agree to give him one year to find someone willing to go to the underworld in his place. After a year is almost up go figure no one is willing to die for him. Well no one that is except his wife Alcestis who goes lovingly in his stead and like a giant wiener he let's her. Poor Admetus is sad and realizes that a life without love isn't worth living. Instead of doing anything about it he waits until word of her sacrifice reaches the ears of his friend Hercules. Immediately the demigod leaps into action and runs all the way to the afterlife, gets into a wrestling match with Hades who's sissy pants he kicks, and then he takes Alcestis' soul back to her husband where the three of them live happily ever after. So yeah, even though young Herc comments on the fact that for a live guy he sure ends up in the Land of the Dead a lot I felt I'd be stepping on his and Meg's toes too much if I wrote about the myth as it was. So this is a really twisted version, beaten and cut into little pieces for the sake of good story telling. Hope you enjoy.)_

Chapter 2: The Devil Faced Angel

In the hall of antiquity, amidst the sculptures and pottery of the ancient world Bob the Narrator's sagely voice boomed out across the museum walls:

"Now hundreds of miles away from Athens in the region of what is now modern day Thessaly, there lay the ancient kingdom of Pherae. It was a land covered in misery and the blood of ancient battles that would become synonymous with tyranny for centuries to come. For it was here in this land of ancient evil that only the strong survived and it's people were ravaged with savage winters and blistering summers. The crops where scarce and most of the land was covered in jagged mountains and dangerous cliffs. Monsters, wild beasts and brigands roamed the countryside terrorizing any poor souls foolish enough to stray far from the towns.

What villain could ask for a more perfect lair outside the mortal plane?

And oh what a villain indeed called this land his own.

It was here in Pherae that the evil King Pheres ruled with an iron fist. Cold, cruel Pheres sucked the lively hood out of his subjects with crippling taxes and days of grueling, back breaking labor. The evil king spent his days finding new ways to torment and oppress the weak. For there was no joy in twisted, black heart save one.

And that joy happened to not be his alone but the joy of all the people of Pherae. Because in this dreamless, hopeless, inhospitable city-state there was one soul that possessed a serenely honest and simple heart. And that soul just happened to be the king's own son, prince Admetus. For where his father was a dark and sinister man who cared only for himself, Admetus was a kind and naive boy loved by all-"

"Uh, Bob honey. Aren't you forgetting a crucial fact about our boy Admetus?" A voice asked before the fiery dreadlocks and slender frame of Terpsichore appeared from the corner of a nearby vase where she hadn't been seconds earlier. Letting out a sigh the narrator had long since stopped being surprised at the Muses' constant interruptions and he simply stated, "Before you ask what this has to do with Hercules can I please ask for a little patience, ladies? I will get to that part in just a moment."

"Sure thing, Bob baby." Thalia chuckled squeezing her plump frame out of a tight corner behind one of the painted temple scenes. "But you're telling the story wrong, honey. In fact you're _missing_ the _point_."

"And what point is that?" Bob asked mildly curious at this point.

"Well," Terpsichore said eagerly covering her mouth with both hands as she took a minute to savor the juicy little secret, "It's true that Admetus _was_ as kind and gentle as you said he was. But you're painting him out to be some kind of prince charming."

"Correct me if I'm wrong ladies, but Admetus _is_ a prince is he not?" Bob couldn't help but state.

"Mmm hmm, well that child is about as close to being Prince Charming as Hades is to being Cupid." Thalia snickered. Scratching his invisible head the Narrator was unable to share in their jokes, "Ladies, I fail to see what the boy's appearance has to do with anything as far as the story goes."

"It has _everything_ to do with it, Bob!" Thalia interjected. "Believe me, all you have to do is take one look at the kid and you'd get what the big deal is. But here! Instead of telling you about it, let's just show you!" And with that the two sultry songstresses began to tug at a nearby tapestry and with their simple act the very fabric of time, space and Disney reality was altered as the image of the Pherean countryside suddenly appeared.

And far to the distance was the black marble palace of King Pheres.

It was then a young man riding a white horse approached the gates. His blond hair blew in the wind as he gallantly strode up to the entrance and dramatically vaulted off the creature's strong back. The boy's face looked like it had been carved by the Muses themselves, why the very stars seemed to twinkle from the deep blue pools hidden behind his long black eyelashes.

The youth looked like a prince from some fairy kingdom not yet created as he removed his soft leather gloves and traveling mantle and ascended the stairs to the entrance. A more perfect Grecian beauty could not be found short of Olympus as his blond hair, lightly curled rustled with every step he took.

"Okay Bob baby, that _isn't_ Admetus." Thalia exclaimed waving her hands in protest.

"Oh." The sagely narrator replied. "It's not? Then who is it?"

"No one important. He must be the messenger from Corinth or Troy or somewhere that has nothing to do with the story line." Thalia replied.

"Oh yeah!" Terpsichore chimed in, "I think his name is Ganymede or something." Getting back to the task at hand the petite Muse exclaimed, "Forget about him, he's not _in_ today's cast." And just like that the camera was instantly turned away from the incredibly good looking youth. Instead the smallest of the Muses pointed to a strange craven figure hiding behind the large shadow of one of the dark stone pillars. "_That's _Admetus."

Crouched in the corner was a boy around Hercules' age. But while the hero in question was strapping and healthy this boy was slender and sickly looking bearing much more resemblance to a corpse than a person. Admetus was tall and gangly with hands and feet that seemed several times too large for his body. And his face alone could make a grown man cry out in surprise. For he had tiny black irises, and year-round ghost-pale skin that made him truly nightmarish to behold. There were large dark spots under his eyes which made him look as though he was mentally ill. A fact that was complimented by the masses of jet black hair that fell in messy curls around his ears and eyes as well as the boy's large almost pointed teeth that shined like fangs whenever he smiled.

Not a more evil looking person existed in all of Greece just short of the Lord of the Dead himself.

Even now completely unaware of the fact he was being watched Admetus was laughing to himself, his voice dark and sinister as he worked behind the column. No doubt torturing some poor defenseless animal or plotting some terrible act of villainy.

"... ... ..."

Bob was speechless.

After several seconds of dramatic silence the narrator turned to the Muses, "Are you serious?" He asked. "This can't be the right person." Shuffling around the man tried to find a copy of the script, "It says here that Admetus, prince of Pherea was admired and adored by all who knew him."

"That's why we said we had to _show _you." Thalia replied with a knowing smile. "But don't let his looks fool you. Watch." She said pointing back to the young man.

Contrary to how downright terrifying the youth behind the pillar was at a closer examination you could see that the sinister act of evil he was committing at this moment was feeding a small group of sparrows. In fact little birds of all color and creed had landed on the boy's thin frame as he angelically watched them and made sure each individual one got the chance to eat. "Easy there guys." The youth said tenderly as two of them landed on his head, "No need to shove. I have enough for everybody."

"Well... I'll be a monkey's uncle." The narrator said in quiet awe as he watched the young prince.

"You can't judge a book by it's cover, Bob baby." Terpsichore agreed. "And Prince Admetus was the poster boy for that statement. From birth he had a face that could inspire terror and despair in people's hearts just by looking at him. And that made his father King Pheres elated."

"At least up until the time Admetus was old enough to say his first word." Thalia countered. "Unlike his daddy, Admetus had no intention of being just another bad guy. And without a willing heir to his tyranny that fact broke his papa's heart. Oh the old king tried everything to get his son to see the error of his ways but the more he tried the more the angel-hearted Admetus would disappoint him. No matter what terrible task, or evil deed that man put the boy through Admetus didn't have a mean bone in his body. He couldn't lie, he couldn't cheat, why the boy couldn't even _think _a naughty thought. King Pheres was at his wits end, and afraid that if he didn't find some way to corrupt his son that he'd be the laughing stock of evil kings the world over. But nothing short of divine intervention was going to turn that boy bad, and you see _that's _where all the trouble started."

"What trouble?" Bob asked now once again resigning to letting the Muses tell the story in his stead.

"This is Ancient Greece, Bob." Terpsichore replied, "So when you have nothing left to go on but divine intervention, you normally resort to _summoning_ a _god_."

"And let me see if I can take it from here." The Narrator said adding all the pieces to the puzzle, "That god was no other than Hades, malevolent ruler of the Underworld and an all around not nice guy?"

"Now you got the beat, Bob." Thalia and Terpsichore said in unison as the three of them had finally come to the end of their narration.

.........................................................................................

"What are you kidding me?" Came the annoyed response from the ever imposing smoke clad figure of Death himself. Crossing his arms Hades tried for once to keep his temper in check, "Let me get this straight, Pheres. You want me to take your son, who if I'm not mistaken, is still _alive _under my wing for few months as personal favor to you_?"_ The flames on his head flickered then ignited into a deep crimson to illustrate his frustration as he seethed, "Should I even mention that wasting my time like this is _dangerously_ tempting the Fates. And for what?" Throwing up his hands he finished, "You drag me all the way out here just so you can ask me to teach that little brat of yours some of the fine points of being evil."

With a cold glare that was as scary as death he sneered, "Oi. I canceled a perfectly good torture session for this?"

"Well when it comes to relishing in the pain and suffering of others, there's no better teacher than you Hades." King Pheres replied rubbing his hands together timidly which ultimately only made him look even more like the withered old vulture he was.

"Eh, granted." Hades agreed. "But I run a tight Underworld. Let me be the first one to say this: **I don't take internships**." Leaning against the cold slate on the King's throne the Lord of the Dead shrugged, "I mean don't get me wrong, Pheres I appreciate all the death and pestilence you've spread over the years, good work and all, it's just I _hate_ kids. Especially the living, breathing teenage types too in touch with their sensitive side. I mean have you met my nephew? Ugh, talk about eternal torment!"

"Well surely we can come to some kind of arrangement, Hades." Clever Pheres thought after a minute of two of sinister plotting. "After all there must be something I can interest you in." Glancing at the very embodiment of death and misery that stood before him the old king stated, "You know rumor has it that you're collecting evil minions and various monsters for some evil scheme you have in the works."

"It's a real estate venture." Hades said nonchalantly. "But I _may_ be expanding my horde of the undead here and there, picking up a few minions and what not. So go on, you _almost_ have me interested."

"As you know the Stymphalian birds have recently migrated from their nesting grounds deep in the Stymphalian Swamp to the cliff sides of my kingdom and the border to Thessaly. I guess too many tourists and curious onlookers kept trying to find the Spring of Canathus and it finally spooked the birds." The King reasoned.

"Uh huh, good good," Hades replied fingering his chin, "And this concerns me _why_?"

"Well right now, the birds are only a _minor_ inconvenience. They end up eating only the occasional shepherd or adventurer. Really they're not much more than overgrown turkeys. But with some tender, loving care and a steady diet of my subjects and maybe a few traveling heroes well who knows? They could be a fierce addition to your collection." The King said with a smile.

"Eh, the Stymphalian Birds." Hades said pursing his lips as he considered the deal, "Giant man-eating birds with brass wings, that _does_ have some potential. I hear they roughed up the Argonauts pretty good back in the day." Glancing at the king he took a few seconds to bat the deal around in his head.

"That's right." Pheres exclaimed, "I hear they cut Jason's crew down to more than half! Why there was bird poop and human limbs splattered across the entire isle of Lemnos. I could have them ready for you in three months or less. That is _if_ you'd be willing to extend a helping hand in regards to my son."

Throwing his hands up the Lord of the Dead let out a evil laugh, "Ah what the heck. I guess having one kid in the big basement for a few weeks can't hurt. It's not like it'll _kill _me. Besides, I saw the squirt on the way in and he has some potential." Scratching his head he muttered, "Creepy looking little yutz."

"So you'll do it Hades?" Pheres said eagerly.

"Yeah, sure, what the tartarus!" Hades replied as they shook hands and closed the deal. His mind was already lulling over the idea of what damage his army of killer birds could do to Jerkules' pretty face. Grinning widely the Lord of the Dead asked, "I mean, come on now. How bad can the little brat be?"

Little did the Lord of the Dead know he was about to find out.

_(End Chapter 2)_

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Spoilerpedia Glossary:

Stymphalian Birds: were a flock of giant man-eating birds with wings of brass and sharp metallic feathers that they could launch at their victims. They were pets of Ares, the god of war. Ridding the land of them was Hercules 6th of the Twelve Labors and some sources claim the Stymphalian birds were also the same avians that attacked the Argonauts during Jason's quest for the Golden Fleece. They were also the giant vulture like birds that Cassandra came up against in the episode _Hercules and the Spring of Canathus_.

Pherae: was an ancient Greek town in southeastern Thessaly. Several liberties about this place were taken for this story, especially since there is no such thing as a city-state consisting solely of villains. But in the centuries to come it would become famous as the home of fourth-century B.C. tyrant kings Jason and Alexander of Pherae. I thought it would be mildly amusing for story purposes to have it be Greece's first official evil kingdom.

Ganymede: In mythology Ganymede was considered to be the most handsome among all mortals, and for that reason he was abducted by Zeus in the form of an eagle and taken to Olympus to serve as a cup bearer to the gods and as one of Zeus' male lovers. Considering how completely creepy Admetus looks at first glance, I thought it would be a good gag to build someone like Ganymede up before introducing the audience to the real protagonist.


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